Up & Rising

it happened again.

it was sleeping pills and whiskey.

devoid of compassion, respect, or more blatantly; attitudes of I-am-right-not-you, and better-you-than-me- are the ingredients that are making this world unbearable or worse, suffocating.

try takin a step back and do some empirical observation.

and you will notice wad a sad sad world we have created.

i always have this urge to make the world of unhappy people, a happy one. or to make things more liveable. not i’m not tryin to be a saint. neither do i want to be one. i guess i’m just unltra sensitive to unhappy or negative emotions. i never wanted cause hurt to anyone or, to be create a crack to happy and stable times, tt’s why i stifle my sneezes. now now. this sounds lame. but to every actions or behavior, there’s a reason and a meaning. thereotically, cuz meanings are socially constructed; and i am not about to write another essay to that sentence.

i stifle my sneezes cuz my mum always flinch when my dad sneeze out loud. so i learnt that sneezin loudly causes discomfort to people and repetitive sneezes cause others to disrupt their activities. and of cuz, not wanting to cause the slightest hair-line crack to anyone’s events; i stifle my sneezes, which many people advise of the medical effects of this self-inflicted restraint.

i dun expect people to stifle their sneezes, but i hope that people will think behind the behavior.

i wish i can care less.

we were in the city and bumped into Tim, doned in ties, shirt and pants. all executive and business-y.

we were catchin up with each other and Tim post a question that we couldnt answer.

“so wad have you been up to?”

not that we havent beeen up to anything, but i didnt noe where to start! or in reality, i have been bummin ard doing nothing yet doin something.

and yes, jay being jay readily replied Work!

so i just smiled.

lemme recap wad i have been up to since the hols.

Since the hols, i have been hanging out with j, eun, and emmanuel, get to know esther and adrian, we ate together and played together. eating n eatin n eating. dfo-harbourtown-floating platforms(it really floats!!!!!)-8 miles plain-broadbeach-goldcoast-sunshine coast-ikea, logan-glow worms mountain and almost fo NSW, etc.?

and j n i went to stradbroke island and stayed in a beach resort.

and then it was graduations!! for the 3 of them. and i have to keep resist the urge to explain to parents that no, i’m not graduating this sem, and no, i didnt fail any semester.

i love the convocation ceremony, u canreally feel the gush of achievement reverberating from the graduands when they step out from the door, one after another. everyone wearin a single smiling expression. but it was after the whole ceremony that i know the smilin part was a staged event! they were instructed on which camera to smile at.

but nevertheless, we all know they have much to smile on. and they are certainly invited to indulge in their success, another success point to add in their book of life’s achievements.

so kudos to you guys.

like one of the parents said, it must be difficult to get a achieve that where everyone is a domestic student here (talkin abt sbs here), i’m so proud.

i’m so proud too.

to mei and veron – my first Bcommun frens, thanks for the advice and sharin of notes when i barely knew you guys. Seriously, you have no idea how comforting it was for me to have you guys with me in the first sem. when i know nothing about the uni, essays, the doesmetic students. and havin ou guys as the only asians beside me in alomost every single class! and also sharin with me thru one of my most difficult moments in brisbane. thank you babes:) all the best to achieving what you aim for, here in brisbane:)

to kong!(esther) my ‘best fren’-i know you will be reading this. hehe. it was great knowin you and adrian, only tt i wish i cld get to know you earlier. but well, thanks for the great food, road trips and all! u guys are the bomb! yeh. the lecturers are crazy to have said that our english needs extra ‘attention’. dun forget me when u head back to singapore ok!!! i’ll be back in august. happy decoratin your room! see u

to lim! (adrian)- happy graduation!Also, thank for being so nice all this while, you guys are the frens for keeep. I’m really happy for you that all ends well, esp about the fiascoover UQ staff incompetence on their seemingly easy job on enterinyour results onto si-net. believe in yourself! and i’ll see u later!!!!! btw. pls remember my name when u and esther are sending out the RED CARDS, i promise to contain my sudden outburst of emotions.;)

to TAN!!! eun- this is prolly our most aussssie picture ever. hahahahha. it has been absolutely fantabulous hangin out with you, crappin and laughin at nothing, and smiling at them egg tarts. i’m so happy for you on makin frens with the dean. thanks for introducing esdrians to me too. hehehehehehhehe. hahahahahha. quick lets make full use of the time left!!!!!

When trouble fills my world you bring me peace
You calm me down, you’re my relief
When walls come crashing down around my feet
You light my way, you’re my release 

So say you’ll watch over me
When I’m in too deep
Tell me you’ll always be
There to pull me free 

When the sun is beating down upon my brow
You are my shade, you cool me down
And every time I tried to turn away
You brought me around, in your humble way 

So say you’ll watch over me
When I’m in too deep
Tell me you’ll always be
There to pull me free
There to rescue me 

For every time you sheltered me from harm
You showed me truth, you kept me warm
And every time you left me on the street
I found my way, I found my feet 

So say you’ll watch over me
When I’m in too deep
Tell me you’ll always be
There to pull me free
There to rescue me 

There to pull me free
There to rescue me

the most balanced -mixture of love, sorrow, hurts, and laughters.

no compromise of any required.

to me, one of the most successful and entertaining television show ever

the new tree came too early,for my liking

the christmas tree that i have decorated was stripped off and taken away cuz some burly shithead felt that it was too small for his this-small-tree-makes-xmas-sad mentallity.

sometimes, not only am i amused at men’s stupidity; I am too, by their insensitivity.

and it doesnt help that you have a mouth big enough to spew out all your insecurities w/o urself even noticing it.

how pathetic.